The first ever Non-Book-Non-Garden-Blog Tour

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On Tuesday, May 18th, Katie Elzer-Peters has coordinated a GIANT  ‘Non-Book-Non-Garden-Blog-Tour’ to honor the release of her friend’s new book Claire de Lune, by Christine Johnson.  This book is geared towards the young-adult market and is filled with scary werewolves, teen romance, spooky forests and lots of hormones….

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Take a break from gardening today and be a part of this fun event by reading what other non-book related blogs are doing to commemorate the release of werewolves into bookstores near you!

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The All New – 2010 Chicken’s Werewolf Survival Guide

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Okay – you knew it was bound to happen.  Despite your best laid plans, a werewolf snuck into your beautiful little garden and you can’t get it to leave.  Now what?

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First off – you need to know a little about these garden pests.  Sluggo isn’t going to be very effective. Either will coyote-urine or gopher traps.  There’s not much you can do except one thing:  TRY TO AVOID BEING EATEN.

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This is especially hard if you’re a chicken.

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Everyone knows werewolves adore the taste of chickens – actually preferring them to humans.  A werewolf’s stomach is quite small so they prefer eating lots of small meals instead of a few large ones (a healthy diet tip we can ALL benefit from!).

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Anyway – back to the chickens.  If you happen to BE a chicken, here’s what and what NOT to do.

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Do NOT try and hide in a dark maroon plant if you’re WHITE.  Bad move, Chicken.

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Do NOT travel alone – use the buddy system at all times.

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WAKE UP LADIES!

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Now is NOT the time to take a nap!

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If you find yourself alone and you spot a werewolf….stop….look….and HIDE.  But not just your head – your whole body!

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Werewolves aren’t the brightest bulb in the chandelier so if you’re spotted by one and you happen to be near a statue, FREEZE and mimic it.

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Whether it’s a chicken statue…..

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A Frog statue……                                 Or a little cement bird, do whatever you can to BLEND IN.

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And if, by chance, you’re caught out in the open – don’t act cocky (no pun intended) and TAUNT THE WEREWOLF with a chicken dance.

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Instead, run to the nearest and largest living creature you can find.

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Whether it’s a dog…

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Or whether it’s a Grandpa….the main thing is to pal around with someone larger & stronger than yourself (another good lesson we could all benefit from!)

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At the end of the day, you must remember that all is not as it seems.  Yes, there IS a landscape larger than the one you see….so beware!

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31 Comments

  • I’d have to check with you here. Which is not something I typically do! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to speak my mind!

    Reply
  • I love this! The chickens were so cute — and so was “grandpa”. I’m sure he enjoyed it 🙂

    Reply
  • OMG, that was hilarious. I’ll be sure to pass this survival guide onto our young chicks. They already seem to do the ‘freeze like a statue’ maneuver quite well!

    Reply
  • I keep coming back to your post and reading it. I just LOVE it 🙂 And the pics! LOLOLOLOL!

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  • Absolutely adorable! I can’t wait to send it my niece who raises chickens! Christine was the maid of honor in our son’s wedding – or was it matron of honor? Go Christine!

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  • i laughed so hard i knocked my orange juice over on my laptop. true story! great post you.

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  • OH MY WORD… totally a cute attack on this blog entry! I love your chickens. I have wanted to raise some here with the bunnies. Maybe next year when the landscaping is complete around the bunny barn. I will be asking you questions about what to do at that time!;-) It is easy to raise them right? I think the biggest chore will be the winter time in my neck of the woods. They will have to be kept in a warm place because it gets pretty darn cold in Ohio.

    Love your shares – happy cluck cluck gardening!

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    • Bren – they’re definitely on the easier spectrum of pets, but they still need daily attention and affection! In the Winter I use a heat-lamp which is on 24/7 for them. You’d definitely want that in Ohio!

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    • Thanks Patty – I had so much fun writing this one!

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    • Thank you all so much – I’m so glad it made you laugh today! Thanks for your support! Mwah!

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  • Hey Sweetie!
    That post had me giggling through the entire thing. So cute and so funny.

    What a fun idea for book promotion. Katie was smart to tap you as one of the contributors.

    Way to go!

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  • That’s hilarious! And kudos to the stunt chickens for demonstrating their werewolf-avoidance techniques.

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  • LOLOLOL! You are priceless, that is all I can say. LOL ‘Bad move, Chicken!’ Kudos to Katie for thinking waaaay out of the coop on this one! I’m going to be sniggering about this ALL day! xoxo

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  • So very clever & cute! I love the pictures. It made a good start to my morning.

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  • Ooooh…it was so mysterious. Just a hint of werewolf. Now you’ve got me a bit scared to go out into the back yard! Wait! What was that noise?

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  • I hope your little chickies took your lesson to heart, Rebecca. It’s a big, scary world out there and werewolves come in many forms.

    This was a very fun morning read. I just love your natural sense of humor. Keep it up!

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  • I am rolling on the floor, laughing my patooty off! What a cute and imaginative post with absolutely to-die-for pictures. This is a gem of a post! But rolling off your pen and your brain, I am not surprised!

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  • Chickens have become such a fashionable garden accessory, we forget there’s a dark side, and this is just the kind of practical advice that helps them live a safe and happy life.

    I predict the 2010 Chicken’s Werewolf Survival Guide will shoot to the top of the best seller lists.

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  • This is BY FAR the FUNNIEST thing I’ve ever read. And the pictures are hysterical.

    Thanks for the laugh this morning.
    Angela

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  • How much did you pay the chickens to pose for this photo shoot? I thought about doing something similar in my post about keeping werewolves out of the garden, but I couldn’t afford the birds’ hazard pay.

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  • Oh Rebecca! That is the most adorable post I’ve ever read! Can I describe a post on a landscape site as adorable when it’s talking about werewolves??

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  • Oh, I LOVE THIS POST! Especially all of the cute chicken pictures. Totally made me smile, and I’ll remember not to freeze like a statue next to a, uh, tree, if I see a werewolf coming!

    Reply

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